The Nervous System Remembers: What we can learn from a dogs
- Melanie Pelouze
- Aug 23
- 2 min read
This morning, I paused on my walk as my dog, Flash, greeted a stranger the way he always does... with total trust. He rolled over without hesitation, belly up, ready for affection. The woman smiled and said, “That’s amazing. Is he always that trusting? My rescue dog would never do that.”
It made me think.
Flash isn’t fearless by accident. He’s never been kicked. Never been yelled at. Never been punished for simply existing. He’s been met, time and again, with kindness. With safety. With love. So he moves through the world expecting it.
What if we all did?
What if our systems especially our family courts treated people that way? With care. With curiosity. With the belief that everyone deserves dignity, not suspicion.
But when you’ve been covertly abused emotionally, psychologically, or financially your instincts change. You stop rolling over. You brace instead of breathe. You flinch at softness because you’ve learned it might come with strings. Or consequences.
That’s what abuse does. It rewires your nervous system. And when the systems designed to protect you don’t recognize it, the damage doesn’t end when the relationship does. You can leave the person. But if the court still enables the patterns, if it still ignores coercive control, financial manipulation, and subtle forms of harm, you’re not really free. You're just learning to survive without being seen.
Flash reminds me what it should look like to feel safe in the world. He reminds me what I’m fighting for. Because everyone deserves to feel safe enough to roll over and show their belly.
Even if the world hasn't always been kind.
Comments